129 Ways To Get A Husband According To A 65-Year-Old Magazine
Louise Peralta
There are only a few days left until Valentine’s Day! Is anybody else celebrating it alone, or are you planning on spending it with a loved one?
For all the single ladies out there that might want to find someone to be their Valentine or maybe even for the rest of their lives, a relic from the past will give you an idea of how to attract the opposite gender.
As it’s a relic from the past, 1958 to be exact, the tips are bound to be outdated. But there are some items that might still work if they're not ridiculously embarrassing to do. Think of yourselves as a main character in a romantic comedy movie when you read the rest of the tips at the bottom of this article.
The article, titled “129 ways to get a husband” was published in an American women’s magazine, McCall’s. Some of you may still be familiar with this since the final issue of the magazine was published in 2002.
For now, here are some items that I find interesting, to say the least.
The first step in getting a husband is finding one.
The article suggests tips on where to find your future husband and right off the bat, the first item on the list is… Get a dog and walk it.
Most pet parents do this now, regardless of wanting to find a significant other or not, since our pets need their exercise. So think of this as an added bonus of having a dog if you’re single. I guess.
For the more calculative person, one tip said that one should “Look in the census reports for places with the most single men.” A bit extreme, but maybe this was the way to go back in the 50s. Another tip that is even more extreme comes right after, which is: "Read the obituaries to find eligible widowers."
Maybe women are lucky now that finding someone to love doesn’t require us to read various censuses and obituaries…
Now onto the more hilarious tips!
Be friendly to ugly men– handsome is as handsome does. I have no need to discuss this any further. Thank you very much.
Get lost at football games. Maybe football games before were a tidier event than what we’re used to nowadays? All I can picture when I think about football games are the electrifying energy surrounding the whole stadium with beers and greasy food and supporting whichever team they’re there for, so I don’t think one would think about finding love there.
This next one is a bit brutal. Don’t be afraid to associate with more attractive girls; they may have some leftovers. So the article is basically saying that it’s okay to take “leftovers” like you don’t deserve the best of the best. Again, maybe men were scarce back in the day. And while we’re talking about female friendship, another tip is that you shouldn’t room with a girl who is a sad sack and let her pull you down to her level. The first tip was friendly, then they go and give a somewhat toxic tip right after. If you have a friend that’s sad, cheer her up and pull her up instead of thinking that she will pull you down.
The next section of the old article is on how to let him know you’re there.
So. Make your presence known by stumbling into a room where your target is to give attention to yourself. Now we’re in a proper romcom with this move!
Another scene stealer would be to stand in a corner and cry softly. Chances are good that he’ll come over to find out what’s wrong. Oh we do love a sensitive man, huh? I mean, this might work, but you’d need some improv skills to give the man a sensible answer.
This next one will have you on the offense. If there’s a wallflower among the men you know, why not cultivate him? For all you know, he may be a diamond in the rough. Go tend to that flower, girl!
Now how does one look good to a person they’re interested in?
Let me just first say that you should only look good for yourself and not anyone else. Anyway, here are some of the old tips that would make you look appealing to men in 1958.
Wearing heels were strongly recommended since it’s sexier. Sexy, but uncomfortable. Next!
This should be done whether or not you’re looking to bag a man, but take good care of your health, as no man would ever date an ill woman in the late 50s. Go on a diet if you need to is another tip to look good. But, again, only do this for your health and not for the sake of attracting a man.
We’ve established how to find a man, how to make them notice you, and how to look good. Next on the agenda is...
How to finally land the man of your dreams!
So one should show their potential husbands that they can have fun even on a cheap date – but don’t overdo it! I’m not really sure what they mean by overdoing it, but anything can be fun regardless of the cost, no? Fine dining is enjoyable, but those kinds of dates can be a bit stuffy for some.
Also, get some brownie points from his friends by telling them nice things about your potential hubby. And since we’re already talking about brownie points, get some from his parents as well. Do so by, and this is exactly how the article wrote it, ”Talk[ing] to his father about business and agree that taxes are too high!”
The 98th item in the article is to "turn wolves into husband material by assuming they have honor." Honestly, I can only laugh at this one. Another hilarious item under bagging a husband is that one should “point out that the death rate of single men is twice that of married men."
I like how this old article is kind of a parody, but not really, you know what I’m saying?
The last few items on the list are the cream of the crop.
Wild ideas on how to get a husband.
And that they are.
Rent a billboard and post your picture and telephone number on it.
Stand on a busy street corner with a lasso.
Make and sell toupees – bald men are easy catches!
And, finally, the last tip that can still be used today…
Don’t marry him if he has too many loose buttons!
I hope you guys enjoyed this list! To read the original article, I found a PDF version of it here. Some of the tips aren’t bad, but most of them can’t really be applied in real life. Go and get an S.O. just in time for Valentine’s Day by being yourself (or use a lasso) but always remember to love yourselves first!
